Community with Myself

written by Dani Scott

My physical being of subtle yet bold curves, various shades of brown, dark coils of hair varying in textures and lengths, lines documenting my growth, dead skin cells shedding while growing anew, blemishes expressing my internal dialogue, brown eyes displaying different perceptions and off white teeth expressing my level of joy, the nose of her father and the hands and toes of her mother, size D cupped with a long torso, strong legs adorned with moles, and graceful arms printed with florals….I have loved getting to know this portion of myself: she’s real, she can be touched, she’s beautiful, she’s human, AND she’s my inspiration as she carries ALL of me within her…..

Thank you body! 

A mind so vast that I continue to learn and grow. A mind so deep I have almost drowned, but the experience has always provided new perspective. A mind so clever I can create stories and dreams and even witness them in “real time”. A mind so rich that nothing’s really impossible. A mind that doesn’t stop inviting me into expansion and openness. A mind that’s helped me heal shadows and witness light. A mind that holds memories that I’ve learned I don’t need to rate or erase as they all play such a beautiful part in my journey. A mind that has allowed me to have compassion towards myself and others. A mind that once felt like bondage now has become a source of freedom. We explore here, we build here, we allow the unthinkable to exist here. 

Thank you mind! 

I have always been told I was “emotional” and I didn’t know what that meant for me. I just remember feeling alone, like an outsider, as if I was the only one experiencing and expressing levels of emotion. Being emotional felt “bad”. Being emotional felt like my identity and I wrestling with whether I should “be” something else. I was honestly too afraid to explore what it meant for me because of what was projected from others. I thought it was because I cry so easily, until I realized I’m sensitive and I relate in a way that allows me to feel and witness energetically what I and another are experiencing and my tears were a reaction to this. I thought it was because I would get defensive, until I learned I was diversifying the level of care I gave to myself not allowing others to define who I am and taking that on as my truth if it wasn’t. I thought it was because I am “too touchy”, or I take things “too seriously”, until I realized those experiences were showing me my desires for connection. It’s through this portion of myself that I can empathize with myself and others, read like the author and I have had a relationship of some sort, and listen to music while experiencing healing from its relatability. It’s this portion of me that I now realize doesn’t make me feel alone, it shows me that I am with and I belong! It’s this portion of myself that reminds me I’m human. Every emotion is precious because they don’t last always, so I lean into each appreciating its presence knowing it won't be here forever.

Thank you emotion(s)! 

Spirituality was first taught to me though church growing up. It was something I remember respecting out of fear. I didn’t really understand it, but the way it was presented I was like “I better figure it out”…and fast because of my “sinful” nature; which I learned was just me exploring my humanness and growing pains…a lot of what I’m still experiencing today. It wasn’t until I explored my personal spiritual nature that I unlocked and unboxed my views on spirituality. My spiritedness has gifted me with the beauty of discovery. It’s helped me connect with things I don’t see and has deepened my relationship with faith. It helped me to slow down, way down and experience my breath, presence, energy, patterns, movement, and connection to an-other. It’s helped me articulate and witness “the bigger” picture. It’s helped calm my body, my mind, and my emotions back to the earth, back to being grounded, back to center, back home with myself. I’m no longer scared, I’m empowered by a power within and around me.

Thank you spirit! 

It’s from all of those places that I live with and amongst relationship with myself. It’s from the bonding of them all that I have experienced my reality of life’s delight, it’s pleasure. It’s the makeup and authenticity of what it means to be in community with myself. It’s how I gauge my community with others and knowing that every part matters, every part is needed and desired, and every part belongs. When I connect with myself I don’t want to neglect aspects of me, I want to embrace all aspects of me and I want to build from there. 

That’s community to me.

Thank you ALL!