You’re Enough

written by Dani Scott

I am journeying alongside you all. Some of you I know personally and some I haven’t met; but I’m here and I’m with you. I’m also really grateful you’re here too. 

 

I am moving through change by delighting in life and leaning into its bliss. 

 

I have learned that neither of the two are linear and don’t make up any notion of “good” or “bad”, “failure” or “success”, “right” or “wrong”; but rather the two are me embodying every feeling and situation through the lens of discovery. 

 

Something I am discovering is that we are enough. 

 

YOU are ENOUGH. 

 

If you’ve been communing with us for a while now, you may have read a brief sharing about my parents…. “she was in the hospital and he was stretched thin” from my We Are Home post. 

 

I’m going to share a little more about them and how community has helped me embrace being enough. 

 

I’ve been watching my parents age and although it is beautiful to be witnessing it so up close (delighting), I feel its grief as well; which has collectively defined my bliss…. 

 

I have wrestled through the quantifications of how I should be showing up. I often felt like what I was doing wasn’t enough. I felt helpless and things felt so out of reach, so out of control, so shattering from one diagnosis to another. I wasn’t breathing, only holding my breath while I waited to exhale only to breath in another health news update, doctors visit, parent’s cry for help from the look in their eyes as they pushed me away and told me to go and enjoy my life. What was I doing and what was I supposed to be doing? I constantly asked myself those questions and wrestled through the constrictions of “good” or “bad”, “failure” or “success”, “right” or “wrong”. So I went back to holding my breath, which felt like the only means of control, something I could focus on, the lump in my throat very present. I grew exhausted and knew something had to give. I wanted to have a deep inhale and slow exhale… I wanted to breathe. 

 

Why was I trying to hold all of this on my own? Why was I not asking for help more and allowing myself to receive love and community? Why was I trying so hard not to embody all the feelings? I was afraid. Afraid that leaning into any of that would mean that I wasn’t enough. I failed as their daughter (and more) placed in their life because I couldn’t give them what they needed, when they needed it, and how they needed it. 

 

It was one doctors visit that helped me make a shift. Him and I sat in a hallway discussing test results, for one of my parents, that I soon after  had to relay to my family. When the doctor walked away, I sat still and told myself this: 

 

Breathe and let’s try to embrace all that is here awaiting to support you, your parents, and your sister. 

 

As time continues to tick, I am leaning more and more into the abundance of support I opened myself up to and am continuing to share that with others on this journey with me. Including you.  

 

My parents are enough, even as they process and move through their personal diagnoses and healing. My sister, who lives out of state, is enough in her beautiful ability to think logically and hold such great medical wisdom which helps my parents feel at ease while they push through the ebbs and flows of their physical bodies. One of my aunts, who constantly reminds me that she has my back, helps me out a lot so that I can work when my parents have doctor's appointments. An aunt who lives right around the corner prepares meals and has her children bring them over so my parents can have home-cooked meals, one less thing for them to think about. An aunt, who is out of state, calls every day with cheer and sends gifts of thought that brightens up the environment. Cousins stop by to spend time or call to check in. Neighbors have stepped in to help as needed. My dog, who supports her mommy not feeling so alone, listens to all my rants and fears while licking up my tears. Friends are always a call, text, or meet up away. Co-workers and families I serve constantly check in on me. My parents’ church community who pray with and for us. The hydration and food that nourish our bodies. Laughs and compliments from strangers. The art and creativity that moves in and through me, that shows me I'm not alone in the most magical of ways. Shared spaces of love, empathy, joy, sadness, anger, and fear. The trees, flowers, sun, stars, moon, and fresh air that nourishes our beings. Energy felt and amongst our journey’s of discovery. Community…..you and this, it’s all ENOUGH. 

 

I now embrace each present moment with my parents, being who I am here and now, knowing it’s enough. It’s enough because I am, and also because you are too.

 

I cry more now, but I also laugh more. I feel the heaviness of circumstances and embracing grief, but I also feel the lightness in freedom to travel and enjoy life how my parents desire for me to and did when they were my age. I fear a good bit, but I’m also so much more courageous than I’ve ever been. I hold my breath, but I also exhale with a peace and calm present. This is my bliss. 

 

We desire community with each other and it takes a village, family, whatever resonates with you the most and you feel led to call it, to embody life’s delight and bliss. 

 

Thank you for being here. For allowing me the space to meet you and write. For being enough from near and far. I am here because I am supported by you. 

 

Here’s to us being enough! 

 

If you feel led to, I would love to know ways you all have connected with or witnessed being enough. Even if you are still trying to get there, I want to hear from you too. We are all unfolding in discovery. The comment space welcomes you below. 

 

XXX